What happened when I ran my Twitter feed through a scrambler
@mattdpearce: Hi, I'm now forced to land on you like a bear.
@mattdpearce: For once, I'd still like a job that pays me to buy health insurance after they realized I was american.
@mattdpearce: Speaking of mandates, most startling thing about cuba was that customs forced me to crush soulless careerists.
@mattdpearce: Avoid concentrations of blacks not all known to you, internet.
@mattdpearce: The most controversial part about Kant was that he said 'hey, olive garden!'
@mattdpearce: If Mitt Romney is an etch a sketch, Newt Gingrich is The New Inquiry, but is actually sincere.
@mattdpearce: Scientists explained they reached the 13.2425% figure by rolling dice and running the results through the fucking matrix.
@mattdpearce: Ethical question: I'm not sure I can recognize you diplomatically.
@mattdpearce: Thomas kinkade is dead, and thinking you look fabulous.
@mattdpearce: I think you know what could get us out of this mass shooting in a tiny little wheelchair.
@mattdpearce: Paintballing with hezbollah. We figured they’d cheat; they were so droll & everyone ignored them. RIP adrienne rich.
@mattdpearce: *smoky, dimly lit editor's office* you know how to spell bike?
@mattdpearce: *smoky, dimly lit editor's office* you think, twitter? Do I read the newsweek piece? I gotta move out of missouri.
@mattdpearce: *smoky, dimly lit editor's office* you know what's cool? That the republican platform couldn't win a general election.
@mattdpearce: Know justins, know peace. No mad men. No mad men. No justins? No peace.
@mattdpearce: I'm about to speak to a guy with an ax who was looking for your kid.
@mattdpearce: GAH RT @Horse_ebooks: A good analogy is this: A generation: A big place with things and sometimes also dogs in it.
@mattdpearce: The only thing worse than yesterday's supreme court ruling is the best writer everyone knows.
@mattdpearce: When's the last time somebody sent you a poem and said hey man, fellow teenage economics junkie here. good god.
@mattdpearce: He did not say 'let's start a tumblr' —the log lady.
@mattdpearce: Totally missed by we journos re: The etch-a-sketch flub is the kid who turned his super soaker into a homemade flamethrower.
@mattdpearce: I've just been using an app to make up quotes and stuff.
@mattdpearce: Kansas city. Two demerits.